{include file="file:$theme_global/_header.tpl"}
<div class="title">
	<h1>Where do you think <i>you're</i> going, young
	{if $user.gender eq "male"}man{elseif $user.gender eq "female"}lady{else}person{/if}?</h1>
</div>
<div id="main">
	<div class="sec">
		<div class="inner">
			<p>Look, I'm not sure what you're trying to find, but this isn't it. You better get moving or I'm going to turn this Internet right back around and we're going straight home.</p>
			<p class="alt">Now get back where you <a href="/" title="Homepage">belong</a>.</p>
		</div>
	</div>
</div>
{include file="file:$theme_global/_footer.tpl"}